Uprooting Loneliness: A Theory of Continuity-Breaking Self-Narrative Change

Abstract

Through an inductive study of executives reporting persistent loneliness at work, we examine how problematic work experiences can be rooted in the self through narratives, and the process by which they can be uprooted. In the case of loneliness, we found that relational scripts formed the central theme of executives’ self-narratives, which informed how they acted and felt at work. Some executives drew on constraining scripts that portrayed self-isolating behavior as necessary for success. This led them to construct a deprived relational reality that rendered loneliness a persistent feature of their working selves. Our study reveals the process through which people changed this constraining self-narrative. For the executives we studied, it began when people crossed an emotional threshold, past which loneliness became intolerable. This prompted the insight that loneliness was partially an agentic construction, and drove experimentation with connecting scripts that, over time, replaced the constraining ones. As this occurred, people made deliberate efforts to construct more relationally enriching work realities and updated their other stories of self. Building on these findings, we develop a theory of continuity-breaking self-narrative change that reveals how people can create disjunctions between past and present selves.